Dear Pastor Andy, what is it called if you believe there is a God, but don’t attend church (because the ones in my town are nothing more than popularity contests), and you pray, but you find yourself questioning the actuality of it…and you don’t wanna say you don’t believe because you kinda do? I know, it sounds like a religious procrastination. I’ll admit, I’m lost!
My Reply: There’s a place in the Bible (Mark 9:21-24) where a man tells Jesus, “I believe! Please help me with my disbelief (or doubt)!”
The basics of Christianity is that it’s not a “religion” for the sake of obtaining salvation, but a “Relationship” with God through His Son, Jesus the Christ.
The Apostle Paul said in Romans 10:9 that if you believe Jesus exists, acknowledge Him with your lips as Lord, and believe that God raised Him from the dead, then you will be saved.” But like any relationship, you need to nurture your relationship with God by praying (talking with Him), reading the Bible, meeting with other Christians in worship (going to church), etc…not for the sake of doing, but for the sake of “becoming” like Jesus and knowing Him better (being, not doing).
Also, don’t be so focused on labels…I’d say that if you’re not sure, pray and ask for help with your doubt. You could start off by saying, “God, I’m confused…” and mention everything you typed in this question. Then keep your eyes open for His answers. You could also ask for help in finding a church where you could freely worship Him with others who have (or have had) similar doubts, and prayed for the same opportunity.